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♥ Saturday, December 27, 2008 @ 11:50 PM
(time edited) I hate that feeling! I had it at abt 1 or 2 years back! & I have it again now! I'm not sure what's the actual word to describe it! I just hated it alot alot! I feel rather down tonight! & I just found out that I dont have a closest closest closest friend in my life! not even half! I looked like I have but actually not.. I do have close friends, but they have their other friends who are even closer! so in another words, I dont have a closest friend at all! it's pathetic that I dont even have a closest friend! sometimes I really feel like crying somewhere.. where no one can see me, no one can find me, no one can hear me! & shout out loud! shout whatever I want to! maybe this will make me feel better! somehow I desired a closest closest closest friend in my life.. I hope to have a friend whose totally belongs to me & forever mine! ya I know it's a stupid wish.. cause it's damn difficult to have a friend who is totally yours.. but I still hope that someday there's really a person who is my closest closest closest friend! & will shower me with love and care! that would be so great! I really dont have a closest friend?? I've been thinking will it be her, her, or her! but in the end, I know that they have their friends who are even closer.. I just didnt know that sometimes I'm really lonely.. I dont have someone who really show concern to me! sometimes I feel that I'm just a extra, everything will be the same even with me or w/o me! & now I really hope to have at least 1 ! just 1 will do! I always listen to music to make me feel better.. but there's no use already! ya.. maybe have but only a little.. I never know that I needed all this so much until tonight! |
